Be a HUMAN, become a HUSBAND later.


No matter if Indian law gives the leverage to any man of over the age of 21 to get married, it does not make one comprehend what relations are and essentially, what they most certainly, are not, at this age. More importantly it is a journey, too long enough to be started without understanding a few things, suggested by many good human beings, from time to time, before you choose to get married.

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There are subtler and even better ways for advancing your requests. However, regardless of the fact that the young lady’s family appears agreeable and ready to camouflage the endowment, as “blessings” for the purpose of their girl, you must stand firm against dowry, and make it stop.

IMG_20141106_004808It is inconceivable for most Indian men, to acknowledge the wife’s past relationships, no matter how sexually-dynamic Olympians themselves they are, virginity still is a major ordeal for most men, imagining to get married. It is your heart, soul and the brain that need a match, not your ego and/or pride.

IMG_20141106_004837‘Baratis’ in India, too would proudly eat and accept gifts and, the lady’s guardians would bear all the costs on the wedding day; in lights of the wedding they don’t owe you an extravagant event to brag about. Share the costs or at least settle in for a situation that both the families can manage.

IMG_20141106_004922                       Be a man who is youthful, independent, who wouldn’t look for his guardian’s monetary help, should much rather select in for a plain, moderate wedding and spare whatever remains of the cash for your own future experiences rather than spending a fortune on the wedding event and lamenting later.

IMG_20141106_004854It still trends, and rooted deep in our culture yet it is highly unreasonable of you as a man to ask the wife to change her second name after marriage. She has feelings linked to that name and it is an important part of her personality. The practice by no means makes her more devoted, as a wife.

IMG_20141106_004822Guarantee her an equivalent measure of time with her guardians as well and occasionally move in with her guardians for small periods for post wedding she is going to live with you for whatever remains of her life. Be that change, needed frantically by the general public.

IMG_20141106_011407You need to invest equivalent exertion to make the marriage work. Impart faith by helping her with the family, daily chores. Obligation of caring for the house is as much of your as it is hers. Doing the dishes or getting some basic supplies or cleaning the house wouldn’t make you of any lesser degree a man.

IMG_20141106_004746Get married, not just to have babies, wedding for the wrong reasons can demolish many lives- yours, your wife’s, your folks’ and all the
more critically, your children. Have kids at a time whenever she feels like. She still is a person who has each right to have her own particular decisions in life.

IMG_20141106_004947It is a disgrace that something as pervasive as conjugal assault in our nation isn’t culpable under the law yet. Vow before you wed, to never abuse her in any way possible. You are not over her in any capacity to have control over her.

 

She may not take care of your family like your mother may have or still been doing and she may not be the family cook yet it is splendidly fine. She has the right, so gets to choose whether she needs to be a homemaker or not. Any relation is established upon, something as fundamental as common appreciation between two individuals.

Issues like women empowerment are getting bigger in stature and that the issues getting bigger in size  only means that we are still progressing (towards the problem) and have not yet reached the peak of the problem and it is dangerous.

 

15 Comments

  1. Very well written and composed, this article enlightens us all of the too long a problem women have been facing at the hands of so called society, of the men, by the men.

    Looking forward for new posts. Keep writing. Cheers 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  2. well said…Indian society and rigid rules of society are now changing and there are several cases where women are still suffering due to cruelty, harassment from in laws and husband. It is time when our society has to teach children to respect women and it is our duty to treat everyone with love and care, be a BOY or GIRL.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yeah Anuradha, very well said that the rules have become rigid where the same were actually created to protect the feminine side in any society. Please keep enlightening us all with such an elaborated feedback. Thanks

      Like

  3. A sensitive topic to go by, any day in India, I must say that a mixed reaction from the people is certain however I must admit that depite getting quite a modern society by the life style we most have copied from the west, we as a society if not men at all, still do not have an equal status for the ladies. Good work team Preaching Humanity

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Sensitive, I completely agree with the previous comment, from the ‘meterdown’. Clearly the article suggests but not blame the male counterpart although it may seem so but after reading, no. Suggestions are welcome and I believe the change is coming too, slowly although as is has been a case with civilizations all around the world. Keep Writing 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Hi there,

    Such an awesome post. Being a bit controversial is nothing wrong, it will help in boosting your blog. My guess is, you’re hoping to have all the men in India (Those who do not appreciate woman, in particular), to change their paradigm and world view so that they in the end will become a better human being, at a later stage of their life, become a good husband to the wife.

    I’ve been to India, long ago, before I started blogging. There are MANY things, pros and cons that I can write about India, but I will wait until my next visit in 2017, that time will do a comprehensive visit. When I visit a place, I observe the culture and the way the people live in certain place. Yes, I love culture over touristy landmarks. Visited Taj Mahal but I looked at how the locals appreciate their own landmark, not at the historical story, as I knew that already in School.

    Having said that, and according to my own experience (please don’t get mad at me), the Indian men (not all but mostly) not only having no respect to the woman in general, they do not respect themselves. That is the core, the mother of all problem. Generally, Indian are good people but when it comes to a certain group that I encountered before, they’re definitely different.

    In Malaysia, we have Indians too, lots of them. I have countless Indian friends, man and woman. They have different sets of attitude here, mostly positive. They behave much better here just like any other Malaysians, they respect each other, they respect all other races and they regard woman as important figure in all areas of life. I have never heard a case of an Indian woman being burnt alive here in Malaysia, if someone do that, that person will face the death penalty.

    It’s different in India, though the police are trying to improve their level of service, at times, some cases were left unattended (not to mention the another ‘issue’ that I dont want to talk about here, or I will not be able to get thru the India Immigration in 2017). Woman always become the victims of this and that and that includes foreigners. All done by Indian man. (Again, not all, some)

    The only way that Indian men in general ably to upgrade their mentality is to change how they see the world. The world does not belong to anyone, not even by any group of people. Discrimination must be avoided. When men keep thinking that they are powerful, they will do anything they like to woman. No one will punish them, as they thought, which this situation changes gradually where the law is kind of stepping ahead of them now, fingers crossed.

    Hinduism is a great religion, I read some of the core and values in School. I respect all religions in this world. There are so many great values in Hinduism but sadly not being practiced by that group of ‘nasty’ Indian men. It’s all about mentality and the willingness to accept other into their own circle of life. The willingness to respect each other, sarcastically speaking at times I failed to see some Indian men respecting themselves, like pee openly, where ever they want too, even the tourists get to see that. They failed to respect their own genital, what else can they do respect others soul?

    I had the opportunity in 2004 to live in shortly with a foster family in Madras, though not long, just about 3 weeks, I’ve seen enough in that village of theirs. My foster family is a very respectable family, unfortunately not the neighbors (Some). I get to see people fight for a very simple thing, woman being disgraced for a small mistake, ‘disturbed’, being humiliated by some men in that area, I have seen all….not in the media but in front of me.

    This kind of mentality is not only occurring in India, it’s happening at some parts of the world too but in India its kind of being at the extreme level..all because of one thing…that group of man in India, do not have respect for their own soul. The system in Hinduism is all right, I have no problem in looking at the caste system, that is the core of Hinduism, but once man take advantage of their position over the lower caste, they think they are powerful. Once they do that, they will do that even to non Indians, even to tourists.

    Caste is a system made as a core in Hinduism. At times, man need to adjust to the current situation, while upholding belief and tradition, respect must be applied to each other no matter which caste a person belongs to. Have some mercy, which most do not have, that lower caste are human being too, if you do not want to touch them at least leave them alone. The thought that they have all the powers IS THE ROOT to the the problem you are highlighting. Men keep thinking that they are superior, they forgot that they’re in their mother’s womb for 9 months, inside a woman body!

    Will this situation change? Yes, but in the long run, not now..hopefully the younger generations in India will appreciate the world more, having vast paradigms and world view, adjusting to current situation and then they will start to appreciate their own soul after that they will certainly respect others, including woman.

    Yes, be a better human being, respect yourself then hopefully the ‘men’ will then become a better husband, again, fingers crossed..

    Sincerely

    Lan

    Disclaimer: I have no intention to insult anyone, I relayed my thoughts in general according to what I have experienced and will again in 2017…

    Liked by 1 person

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